WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some welcome news for bong lords (reformed and still practicing) around the country, a well timed gift from the gods has landed.
With the annual 420 day once again gracing the calendar, the nation’s stoners have been served up a double treat.
That comes in the form of the revelation that Scary Movie is coming back, bigger and more cooked than ever.
Alfred Simmins, one local reformed bong rat who only dabbles in the occasional cone or doobie on special occasions, explained that he’s keen for the new instalment.
“Mate, be nice to have a horror movie I can actually follow after 4 cones,” laughed the very regular office guy who is looking forward to a nice Monday evening cone out.
“Like some of the shit they are making these days.”
“That Weapons, with that Pauline Hanson looking psycho…”
“What in the fuck was that?”
“I had a couple before going to the movies to see that one and I was wondering if someone had sprinkled angel dust on a cone when I wasn’t looking.”
“All these kids run out of the house and disappear cause some witch put a spell on them and they all end up in a basement in someone’s house.”
“And it’s a metaphor for gun violence?”
“Bra what is doing haha.”
“Anyway, yeah bring back Scary Movie haha.”
He then offered to pack our reporter up.
More to come.
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