Interest Rates Might Go Up Tomorrow, The Might Not Blah Blah Blah Shut Up Jim This Is All Your Fault

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Mortgage holders are bracing this week for the possibility of their home loan getting more expensive.

There is every possibility, according to The Advocate's head economist, me, that interest rates will not go up. They probably won't go down, but they might not go anywhere. Either way, it's Jim's fault.

Treasurer Jim Chalmers famously decided to start getting involved with how the Reserve Bank, the historically independent central bank of this island, set interest rates and doled out other high-concept actions like quantitative easing and whatnot.

Which means we can essentially blame him for everything when the wheels come off, which they might've. If rates go up tomorrow, Jim's fault. If they don't, Jim's fault. The idea is, they want to remove frivolous spending in the economy because inflation is putting the dog up us all and seemingly the only way to bring inflation under control is putting the middle Australian through a degustation of lash and sodomy. Not by the government blowing billions on rubbish like more public servants, not at all.

Speaking today at the Betoota Chamber of Commerce, the Treasurer began talking about whatever tomorrow brings, we're in a better position than we would be under a One Nation coalition.

"Rates, huh? Aren't they crazy?" he said to not much fanfare.

"Can't live with them, can't live without them. We'll be OK. You'll be OK. I don't think they'll go up wink so this noise is just people trying to sell newspapers. Anyone who doesn't agree with you online is a bot. It's not a real person, it's some random Indonesian guy following a script. Thanks for coming."

"You're not even listening to me, are you? Blah blah blah."

More to come.