Naplan Results Confirm Your Kid Might Be Missing A Few Roos In The Top Paddock

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

It's been a bit of a grim week for plenty of parents, with national literacy and numeracy results making their way home in backpacks across the country.

For many, the NAPLAN results have confirmed that their kids is currently a few slices short of a loaf, and on track to flounder akademikally (sic).

The standardised tests undertaken by kids in Year 3, 5, 7, and 9 have revealed that every cohort has fallen behind, and a third of Aussies students are falling to meet benchmarks.

The education department has confirmed of course that this is your fault, and you should be paying to get your kid to a 'good school' if you want them to get better academic results.

The nationwide slide comes as the education system continues to battle with the idea of giving kids whose brains are addled by screens, some screens to do their learning.

It also comes as the country continues to pretend like the commercialisation of education (particularly secondary and higher education) is a good thing, because anyone who wants to get their kids ahead, should and will get their kids ahead.

The idea that education should be something used to get people ahead, as opposed to a universal human right to be offered at a basic and equitable standard across the social and financial spectrum will of course not be examined by anyone other than frustrated teachers who oscillate between loving what they do and wondering why the fuck they bother.

Instead, your child's failing numeracy and literacy standards are your fault, and you need to pull your finger out if you want them to have the adequate number of roos in the top paddock and a nice life.

More to come.