Nambour High Alumni Says Here’s How You Deal With These Fucken Redneck Queenslanders

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

Last night, former PM Kevin Rudd appeared on the ABC's 7.30 to discuss his views on US-China relations, the AUKUS agreement, and the current rise of Senator Pauline Hanson's far-right minor party. 

One Nation is currently polling the highest levels of support since they first entered Australian politics over 30 years ago, with polls indicating they have surpassed Labor in the primary vote. 

However, as a former Nambour High student, Rudd says he’s met a few Paulines in his time. 

And considering her tactics over the decades have hardly evolved, he’s learnt a thing or two about how to deal with these bloody redneck Queenslanders. 

“Look, it’s a great state we’ve got, my fair Queensland. So I’d hate to say it, but there’s a decent amount of us who have no bloody idea. And Pauline, she well and truly has no bloody idea.”

“The recipe - which mind you she’s gotten pretty good at - is to throw around a few protesty buzzwords and then hope no one notices you have absolutely zero idea how the economy works, or any policy actually for that matter.”

“And all that time spent above a deep fryer can’t be good for the brain either.”

“But honestly, you do just have to let these bloody bogans go. Let them think they’re king of the castle for a bit.” 

“Treat them like they know what they’re talking about. You can take the piss a bit if you’d like, as long as you keep smiling they usually don’t notice actually, I learnt that as Dux of Nambour High. If you can’t kick a football they end up thinking you’re the useless one, which actually works in your favour, you can have a bit of fun with it.”

“But in the two years between now and the next election, have a think. How likely is it that an ex-crim from Ipswich knows what’s best for me? Because the answer is not very.”

More to come.