Mythical Older Colleague Allows These Softcock Young Fellas To Have One Friday Night On The Piss With Him

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

After years of niggling, a late-60s white collar alpha has finally relented to his smart arse younger colleagues, who have heard stories about his piss guzzling exploits in the 1990s.

Peter 'Pistol' Casey, CFO of the Betoota-based medical equipment supplier CleanSteel, has long promised the riff-raff sales team that they would one day get the chance to see him get to work on the tiles.

However, this has always felt like a hypothetical scenario, and not something that would ever actualise.

Pistol understands the young fellas - Kai, Kobe, Keegan and Kade - have grown to mythologise him like as some sort of former great.

The fact is, they have no idea how hard he used to cane it. And he hasn't been lying when he says he doubts they'd be able to keep up.

But with the wife and daughters out of town for an aunt's birthday, Pistol decided he may as well watch tonight's footballing fixtures at a pub.

And while he's invited a few old timers to join him, he also figured this might be a good chance to give these young fellas the call up.

"Why not" he said.

"They've tried their hardest to wrangle me into a cab after countless staff drinks over the years. But I've always led them on with a carrot"

Pistol says it isn't because he doesn't like the blokes, it's because he can think of better ways to spend his Saturday than being hungover because of them.

"At my age, it's about picking your battles. Tonight, I have an empty house and don't feel like cooking. So it's time to go to war"

Pistol decides to build the excitement just before lunch.

"You fellas heading to the Parrot tonight?" he enquires, after popping his head into the break room.

Kai, Kobe, Keegan and Kade's eyes light up.

"Yeah" says Kobe, like a puppy dog.

"Be there round 5" says Keegan.

Pistol nods, contemplatively.

"See how we go" he says.

He then disappears into his office until close of business.

At 6:30pm, the young and unmarried members of the CleanSteel sales team are seated at a table in the local pub, making peace with the fact that they've been stood up by their professional hero.

That's until a shiny chrome dome appears in the sea of corporate drunks at the front bar.

"What are we drinking then, you fucking morons" says Pistol.

The vibes lift dramatically. The old bull has pulled up a stool.

"Now which one of you is getting married?" he asks.

The boys point to Kobe, who grins from ear to ear upon learning that the Pistol is up to date with his recent personal milestone.

"Yeah. The HR girls said one of you were pulling up stumps." says Pistol.

"I said I have no idea about your personal lives."

"You people mean nothing to me"

The crowd of blokes cheer in sheer elation at the cruel and wicked banter.

"But I spose I better shout a round"