Local Woman Trying To Enjoy Discreet Takeaway Dinner Subjected To Needlessly Identifiable Bag Of Shame

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

A woman in Betoota’s french quarter feels privacy is no longer a right but instead a privilege following a run-in with a popular Mexican chain.

After a busy Sunday, Pippa Wilson (24) quickly realised she had her weekly window for a grocery shop. 

“On Monday I had a bit of mac and cheese that I found in the back of the pantry. I didn't check the expiry date because ignorance is bliss, and I’m still alive, so I’m sure it was fine,” she said. 

“Anyway, on the way home from work last night, I was like fuck. I’ve got nothing in the fridge. So then I thought, you know what, I actually haven’t had GYG in forever.”

“So I thought why not. A cheeky burrito won’t hurt. Maybe a coke no sugar, too. I’ve got the app as well, so I even ordered it while I was still on the bus home so I could just get off and pick it up straight away,” she said. 

“But then I got there, and they’re calling out 2098!! 2098!! And I think fuck, that’s me, but surely not. No. It can’t be. But it was.”

“They had given me the lazy girl bag of shame for my single fucking burrito. So now I have to walk through main street all the way down to mine, that’s about 15 minutes mind you, having everyone know I couldn’t be bothered to cook on a random Tuesday night and am going home to have a sad, alone burrito.”

“My ex lives in the same suburb, can you imagine if he walked past with his new girlfriend? They’d probably be on their way to eat at the nice new Italian place near the bus stop and drink red wine while I’m going home to eat a burrito in front of the TV, probably watching some Amazon show about teenagers whose lives are far more exciting than mine.”

“Like do I really need a massive bag with a full on handle and everything for a burrito? No. In fact, I would’ve been fine putting it in my work bag, given it was foiled properly. Protect my dignity and all that. Not now though.”

Despite all the fuss, Pippa says the mexican meal and hours of shitty TV have been the highlight of her week so far. 

More to come.