Local Woman Struggles To Sleep Knowing Gen-Z Could Bring Back Fedoras Any Day Now

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

A 32 year old woman from Betoota’s flight path district is spending everyday living in fear that the return of the fedora is right around the corner.

Piper Elden says it would only be the most recent installment in a series of questionable fashion choices that once haunted her snapchat and facebook memories that have since made a comeback.

“It goes in cycles, I know that by now.”

“90s stuff was cool for a bit, and then Y2K was really the moment,”

“But now, 2012 is right around the corner. I feel it. These kids are wearing skinny jeans!”

“And then of course Lena Dunham has to go and write a memoir about fucking ‘Girls’ and suddenly everyone is back into that, Gen Z’s are discovering it and saying weird shit like 'wait the fit is lowkey fire', like no Marnie is wearing a fucking hipster beanie and off the shoulder studded top.”

“And I just know she surely wore a fedora at one point, so it’s like, how long until I'm a victim of these kids. I had a billabong one I got at a shop in the airport. It had a little leather strap around it. Fuck my life, it’s definitely in storage somewhere. And I'm not strong enough to stand my ground and not give in. I will get it out if I have to,”

“I also had a proper Volcom snapback, but Mum threw that one out so I’ll be fucked if that one makes a comeback.”

“It’s just a nightmare.”