Local Menace Prepares To Become Town's Only Trans Asexual Muslim Tonight

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact

A French Quarter sharehouse dweller will provide bad data to the Australian Bureau of Statistics tonight because who cares.

According to data on-hand at the time of publication, there are no transexual asexual Muslim people in Betoota. That will change tonight due to answers Dennis Gundy will give the national census tonight.

"Who cares," he said.

"Not like this data will go to improving services in the bush. And I think it's funny. What favours has the government done for us recently?"

One of Dennis' housemates has openly criticised his plan to make light of marginalised communities just for the sake of it, which has fallen on deaf ears.

As for potential consequences, like having SPER reach into his bank account for refusing to pay the fine for not doing it, Dennis reiterated to The Advocate that he does not in fact care.

"If they're gonna force me to do this thing, I'm gonna say I'm a trans asexual Muslim. Because I am. What, you don't think I am? You can go to gaol these days for saying that, you know?"

The Advocate spoke breifly to census officials this morning, who implored people to answer the thing honestly.

More to come.