Local Conservative Furious That 'Energy Security' Unfortunately Just Means A Bunch Of Soft Cock Solar Panels

Local Conservative Furious That 'Energy Security' Unfortunately Just Means A Bunch Of Soft Cock Solar Panels

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

After nearly two decades of resisting even the slightest nudge towards the renewable energy transition, one of Betoota's most staunch local conservatives has today conceded. 

A little bit. 

Mackenzie Roberts (55) says he still thinks solar panels are for soft cocks, but he simply has to admit the last 6 months would've been a fair bit easier if he drove an EV. 

And of course, if you're going to drive a silent leftie spaceship that runs on electricity, you may as well be harvesting your own blue juice from the roof. 

"Don't get me wrong. I still think that the greenies are idiots and need to grow up" he says.

"But after years of flinging mud at our once booming fossil fuel industry, it seems that some of that mud stuck. Now i've got two daughters who drive BYD's and a wife that is jealous of them" 

However, Mackenzie still insists he hasn't been peer pressured into exploring electric vehicles and solar panels. 

"I just want to state, on the record, that this decision has been forced upon me by the Iranian Regime." 

"If they hadn't blocked the Strait of Hormuz, I would be more than content filling up my champagne gold 1997 C180 Mercedes Benz with premium unleaded PETROL!" 

"But alas" 

As this lifelong Liberal Party voter points out, the term 'energy security' needs to be all-encompassing, unfortunately. 

"If these soft cock solar panels are going to save me coin at the pump, then to ignore them would mean i'm not a conservative at all" 

"The same goes for national parks. I don't want to see our rainforests being cut down. Of course I want to 'conserve' resources if we have more efficient options" 

"Why is that so hard for these dreadlocked hippies to understand? Maybe if they took a bath and read a book they might realise that shutting down traffic in the CBD is far less effective than knocking on my door and giving me a pamphlet and the promise of fiscal sensibility" 

"Stupid lefties"

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