Local Boomer Left Furious After Being Asked To Leave Tip Upon Completing Census
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local sexagenarian was left exasperated last night, after trying to perform his civic duty. The
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A local bloke has yet again found himself begging his cat to please, please stop shoving his arse in his face, after yet again being bombarded by Pookie’s earnest leather cheerio when he got home this afternoon.
Stumbling into his apartment early from a shit day of dealing with dumb fuck clients, Ian Reynolds, 32, was prepared to rewatch some Brooklyn 99 when Pookie demanded some lovin.’
However instead of opting for his usual approach, which was to drag his cold, wet gums across Ian’s face, Pookie thought he’d make the day a little bit shitter, and get a little too close up and personal – meeting Ian, quite literally, eye to eye.
“POOKIE NO, STOPP EUUGH.”
“POOKIE WHY!”
Ian’s howls are said to have only encouraged Pookie to purr louder, and sink his claws into Ian’s leg for added measure.
More to come.