Local Big Dog Already Halfway Across The Road Before Green Man Lights Up

JONTY SPEEDMAN | Culture | CONTACT

A local alpha dog has today been described as “revolutionary” by witnesses following an incredible play at the traffic light crossing.

The play in question refers to Jake Bross beginning his walk over the 4 lane intersection into Betoota shops prematurely, resulting in a devastatingly efficient travel time from curb to curb.

Bystander Daisy Gerard said that while it’s not the first time she's seen this move, it’s definitely the one that will stay with her.

“I was actually on the phone to my friend Cate when it happened," she commented after making it to the other side herself.

“I looked up to see the green man light up, only to see this absolute mad man already halfway across.”

“It scares me how easy it was for him to predict when it was our turn.”

While most witnesses were blown away, Bross alleges this is a fairly routine part of his commute to the banh mi joint on his lunch break.

“Mate, you’ve gotta be dialled into what’s happening in the intersection," he told our reporter.

“You see people just waiting around for that beeping sound, like sheep waiting for the shepherd.”

“Not me bro, big dog does what he wants.”

Bross then launched into a detailed explanation of just how much time he saves each day by watching the traffic lights, while insisting it’s actually safer than waiting for the green man.

“Even if it’s only saving me 10 seconds a day, that’s 10 seconds I’ve got on the rest of youse.”

“I actually talk more about it in my online course. Only $300 per week.”

More to come.