Shirvo Shifts Nervously On Sunrise Couch As Story Of Penis Doping At Winter Olympics Emerges
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sunrise Star Matt 'Shirvo' Shirvington has this week found himself awkwardly fumbling his way
Latest news (Page 37)
Bar Is So Low That Local Woman Impresses Herself By Watching A Full 29 Minute Sitcom
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local woman has accomplished what seemed impossible after successfully completing a 29 minute sitcom without
Researchers Identify Childhood Causes Of Australia’s Cocaine Epidemic
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A shocking report has revealed the single biggest childhood cause for Australia's out of
Teals And Independents Begin The Transformation Into Career Politicians As Liberals Scrap Net-Zero
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ever-growing cross-bench of Teals, Independents and climate-focused minor parties have this week been given permission
With No Footy Or Cricket On This Weekend, Nation's Women Annoyed Their Boyfriends Want To Hang Out
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact The nation’s girlfriends are reportedly feeling a bit disgruntled today, after realising they’ll have
Victoria Vows To Rehabilitate Youth Criminals By Turning Them Into Highly Skilled Adult Criminals
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT The Victorian government is weighing up a major justice overhaul, eager to help its young offenders
"Well That Was Easy" Shrugs Barnaby As He Gets Coalition To Destroy Itself
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has today shrugged his shoulders with the relaxed confidence of
Australian Start-Up Bro Congratulates Elon Musk On Becoming A Trillionaire Via DMs
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local hustler and self styled start-up cofounder has quietly congratulated his “friend” Elon Musk for
Too Much Going On In The World For Anyone To Care About Old Cunt’s Gripe With Premature Christmas Decorations
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact IT'S TOO EARLY: Local retiree Barry McManus, 71, has reportedly taken issue with Christmas
Liberals To Formally Ditch Net Zero Because Eventually The Floods Will Put Out The Bushfires
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In news that has surprised not one voter, the Liberal Party has once again trusted their
Law Student Receptionist Now Expected To Write, Direct And Star in Corporate TikToks
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A bloated HECS debt is feeling particularly heavy for a young law student today,
Senator Bragg Time Travels Back To 2017 To Save The Liberal Party From Being Destroyed By Sky News
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO WIN: As Liberal Party prepares to ditch their previous
Undeniable New Findings Confirm The Curly Wurly Is Far Superior To Chomp
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact An independent study conducted by the Australian Lolly Foundation has confirmed what many have always suspected