LA Rams Evacuate Before Being Forced To Try Vegemite On Triple M

KEITH T. DENNET | South | Contact

An international evacuation mission is playing out in the south this afternoon as 53 American footballers look to escape Melbourne.

With the City of Sports hosting the San Francisco 39ers and the Los Angeles Rams at the MCG this morning, the city is bursting with fans of the pigskin, given the occasion marks the first time ever a regular season NFL game has been played in Australia.

However, the big milestone moment has been slightly dimmed by the fact that the LA Rams were just so excited to come visit Australia, that they chose to spend less than 24 hours in Melbourne, essentially flying 24,000km in 72 hours to avoid any chances of being force-fed vegemite on a Triple M breakfast show.

Speaking to the team’s media manager Davis Daniels, it’s understood the controversial decision has nothing to do with combatting jetlag and body clocks, but is just so the players aren’t subject to awkward, cringey media interviews by Australian sports dribblers.

“We wanted to come earlier, but after watching how you Ossies mauled the 49ers players with questions about coffee and crocodiles, we thought we’d boost outta town early,” Daniels told The Advocate, as he boarded a Qantas A380 straight back to LA.

“Your news outlets wrote like 25 articles about how tired we looked when we got off the plane when we landed, you’re like weirdly obsessed with us hey….”

It’s been a tough week particularly for players of the San Francisco 49ers, who have spent the entire week forced to drum up interest in the game with interviews on breakfast radio and sports betting podcasts.

Speaking to one 49ers player, it’s understood he’s excited to make it back safe in America where his opinions on Melbourne coffee beans won’t become headline news.

“I was interviewed the other day by Gutsy, Roo and Wippa-doo?? Those guys on the Triple WWW show? I said I liked your coffee here and the next day it was on the front page of the newspaper.”

“Anyway it was nice to be down here, that stadium was pretty cool. God bless America.”