Jetstar On Standby To Evacuate Eels, Dragons and Tigers To Potato Head Beach Club

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A Jetstar Boeing 787 Dreamliner is sitting idle on the north runway at Sydney Airport this morning, waiting to evacuate a special batch of passengers.

After overhearing a conversation between two NRL officials at the troughs of Commbank Stadium this afternoon, The Advocate understands that the league is chartering a special jet to take the Eels, Dragons and West Tigers directly to Bali for the off season.

After the Eels and Dragons played 80 minutes of knuckle dragger footy at WIN Stadium this afternoon, it’s believed both clubs took their team buses directly to Kingsford Smith, without even hitting the showers.

And now that the Wests Tigers have officially wrapped on another disappointing year, which funnily enough started with such promise, they too will be joining their fellow bottom eighters in the sticky plastic seats onboard JQ37 to Denpasar.

Speaking to the Jetstar cabin manager, the plane is almost cleared for lift off.

“The Parra players and Illawarra boys boarded an hour ago, they’re all just sitting on that flight icing their hammys with Pineapple Cruisers,” Marcus Allen-Joyce told our reporter.

“We didn’t even roster on any baggage handlers, we made them load their own bags and the crates of Vodka Cruisers themselves.”

Asked if the players would be receiving the special polite customer service that Jetstar is known for delivering on every flight, the representative from Jetstar says tonight’s chartered service will be a bit more low-frills, allowing the teams to enjoy an old fashioned lock-in, 35,000 ft above sea level.

“Nup, we’ve put them on the plane with a box of vapes and enough different flavours of lolly water that they’ll be pissing purple by the time they land.”

“We’ll just shut the door and let them at it, they’re in international waters now.”