Iran Threatens To Keep Strait Of Hormuz Closed If These Pesky Kiwis Try Anything Silly Today

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The under siege nation of Iran have today dropped a bombshell on the footballing world.

The regional military and footballing powerhouse has informed the greater footballing community that if New Zealand try any funny business today, they are closing the Strait of Hormuz.

Less that 48 hours after US President Donald Trump announced that a massive peace deal had been signed with Iran (after a war which has served absolutely zero purpose for anyone other than the petro and military industrial complex), safe passageway through the Strait is in doubt.

This comes as Iran prepares to take on the Kings of Oceania, New Zealand in Los Angeles.

35,000 Iranian supporters are expected to attend the game, which will certainly not cause any scenes with the famously level headed and measured Los Angeles Police Force.

However, it's not the situation in LA that is the cause for concern, with New Zealand now facing the prospect of a stunning win blowing the last remaining fragment of bone out of the global economy's knee cap.

"We'll close it," said a spokesperson for the Iranian regime.

"Don't think we won't."

"We just need to get through the group, and a 1-0 win against New Zealand will go a long towards doing that."

"So no one needs to get hurt, just let the boys get it done."

"Or your petrol prices go up again."

The Kiwis are yet to respond to the demand.

More to come.