Inner-City Bubbler Shamefully Weak

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT

A modern bubbler in central Sydney has once again delivered a stream of water so weak that using it feels like a personal humiliation.

The stainless steel installation, which appears capable of communicating with a satellite, was approached yesterday by thirsty pedestrian Michael Tran (24).

After pressing its polished button, Michael watched a small amount of water reluctantly emerge and immediately retreat towards the drain.

“Come on, bro,” he said to the bubbler

The bubbler, installed as part of a stylish streetscape upgrade across the city by people who would never use a bubbler, has been a significant downgrade from the its pre renovated self.

Michael even suspected he was pressing the button incorrectly.

A firmer attempt produced the same result, requiring him to lower his face until his lips were within an unacceptable distance of public infrastructure.

“I’m basically kissing it,” he said.

Nearby, an older concrete bubbler sat disconnected behind temporary fencing, looking fully capable of launching water across the footpath if given the opportunity.

After one final attempt, Michael abandoned the installation and purchased a drink from a convenience store.