A lovely stroll in the park has been topped off today, by a water fountain with a strong enough stream to avoid face on steel contact.

It is reportedly a world first for the local council, who up until this exact moment had not shown any interest in their public use taps and bubblers.

”This one is perfect” says local picnicker, Wendy Ireland (55).

”Just far enough away from the ground so the dogs can’t piss on it”

“And finally one with a bit of fucking go about it”

This comes after a recent study by the CCC that found 9 in town public use bubblers are so piss weak they usually leave citizens sucking from the spout, forfeiting any sense of hygiene and self respect.

However, this particular bubbler in the park has done a lot for stigma surrounding council utilities, and is restoring faith in the system.

”It takes you back to when you first remember using a bubbler in primary school” says 90-year-old Berryl Wagstaff.

”It’s seriously quite an impressive stream. I usually don’t even bother with these things anymore”

At time of press, our reporters were seen having a good ol’ drink from the fountain in question, because that’s what it’s therefore, right?



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