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In a bizarre turn of events, The Queen has actually been recorded speaking, for the first time in the lives of many people in the Commonwealth.

While it is apparently the fifth time she has made an address of this kind, many people in the Western World refused to believe she could do anything except wave to people from a distance – with many people believing she wasn’t even real.

However, the animated robot conspiracies were put to bed yesterday, after the pre-recorded video which was filmed while in partial-isolation at some impenetrable Castle in some rich part of England.

The Queen made a point of personally thanking frontline health workers and others carrying out essential works during the crisis.

She told the Commonwealth to meet the crisis with self-discipline, insisting that “better days will return” for her and her family.

The Queen says she hopes the coronavirus crisis will prove “this generation is as strong as any” in a rare and special video.

One of Betoota’s most prominent Republicans, Gareth, a ‘hibernating’ fitter and turner usually found at the TAB of the Lord Kidman Hotel has told the media he can’t believe how old she sounds.

“I thought she’d sound more like someone from the movies” says Gareth, through the kitchen window of his Daroo street fibro divorcee pad.

“I spose… she is from England… I just didn’t expect her to sound so old. I full on thought she would sound like Oprah or something”

While still stunned by the hysterical world event, and the seriousness that has required an official address from the Queen he has spent his entire adult live whingeing about – Gareth is finding it hard to feel for the Royal Family right now.

“Must’ve been the hardest she’s worked in a while haha” says Gareth.

“Back to the couch now Lizzy haha”

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