Mayor Of Betoota Joins Calls For A Permanent Ceasefire Ahead Of Talks

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Lord Mayor of Betoota has joined growing calls for a permanent, comprehensive ceasefire between the United States and Iran. And also Israel and Hamas and Hezbollah.

Councillor Keith Carton called a press conference this morning after mounting pressure from sections of the community and local media for the Mayor to break his ongoing silence regarding the conflict.

"I think I speak for the entire Betoota Shire Council when I say that a permanent and enduring ceasefire is the outcome that the world wants and, uh, what the people of that area deserve, I reckon," he said.

"And yeah look just echoing the sentiments of, uh, many, uh, leaders around the world. Nobody likes this kind of stuff, do they? We have farmers paying more for diesel and fertiliser, combined with prices of some primary products getting softer while their shelf price gets higher,"

"Don't get me wrong, all the killing and whatnot is bad but, you know, it's a funny world when, you know, you've got a bloke from Adelaide making a media company that winds up telling the functionally illiterate denizens of Ohio et al to vote for a sucked mango seed who ends winning and bombing the shit out of Iran for morally questionable reasons that means home loans get more expensive and diesel almost unaffordable. Crazy world, isn't it?"

Mayor Carton then began the ritual of rolling a smoke, which his a signal to his media advisor that the press conference is over.

"Thanks everyone," said Carton's media advisor, Wendell Hussey.

"We won't be answering any questions."