Harry's Mind Wanders From Whatever Boring Function He's At To A Simpler Time When He Was At The Richards In Mitchell Enjoying A Few Off The Wood As A Young Ringer

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Sources close to the Duke of Sussex have confirmed that sometime during his current Australian tour, Harry's mind completely left the building and travelled 1400 clicks north to the front bar of the Richards Hotel in Mitchell, where a 19-year-old version of himself was enjoying cold schooners off the wood after a hard week of bovine retrieval at Tooloombilla.

Witnesses at whatever function Harry was attending described the Duke as present in body only for a period of around forty seconds, his eyes fixed somewhere past the middle distance with the particular expression of a man who once knew what a can of Carlton Mid from the bottom of an esky felt like after 12 hours on the calf cradle.

"He looked like a bloke who'd just remembered he used to be normal," said one attendee.

"I think I saw him lick his lips."

Harry reportedly snapped back to reality without explanation, straightened his jacket, and resumed whatever it was he was doing.

He has not publicly commented on whether he intends to visit Mitchell during the current trip, but sources say his eyes briefly went again about ten minutes later.

More to come.