Roosters Fan Relieved To Take His Mind Off Government's Abhorrent And Socialist Capital Gains Tax Changes
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The mighty Sydney Roosters will throwing the kitchen sink at the New Zealand Warriors when they
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
In some truly fucked mental gymnastics, a Betoota Heights woman has managed to fuck up her morning by indulging in a longwinded hypothetical scenario about an imaginary love interest, it’s reported.
Cara Wilson, 27, tells The Advocate that she often finds herself coming up with imaginary scenarios, but that they are usually reserved for just before bed and a little more R rated in nature – however, this time, she has found herself willingly imagining having an argument with a boyfriend.
“I was having this great day dream about having a hot, slightly older boyfriend that looked exactly like Denny Duquette from Grey’s Anatomy”, says Cara, “but then it turned into him being a divorcee who has split custody over his children.”
“Which was fine at the start, but then his ex wife starts calling to come fix things in her house. ‘Oh the washing machine is broken, come fix it! Or, my back fence needs mending, you need to come over immediately because I feel unsafe!’
“Get a fucking Airtasker, imaginary redheaded woman!”
Letting out a small huff, Cara says she was forced to end things with her imaginary boyfriend, due to him not being able to enforce boundaries.
“It really shitted me off, she obviously wasn’t over him and kept trying to wedge herself into the relationship, but the problem was that he allowed it.”
“He should have fought for me.”
More to come.