Germans Defeated By Long Lost Cousins

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Paraguay has stunned a giant of the soccering world moments ago, sending their long-lost cousins back to Germany after defeating them.

The small South American nation drew with the Germans, sending the game to a penalty shoot-out, which they somehow won.

As many students of history will know, many devotees of the murderous Austrian painter who tried to take over the world but ultimately failed, ended up escaping justice in submarines.

Those submarines ended up in places sympathetic to them. Locations like Argentina, Uruguay, Brazil, Paraguay and Hahndorf in South Australia. Yes, that's right, something other than kelp and whale poo washed up on the sand at Sellick's Beach back in 1945 but that's a story for another time.

These undeniable facts of history mean that Germany was actually sent home by some of their long-lost cousins. It's entirely possible. So in the end, it's a bit poetic that the people with Europe's shortest temper (Italians don't count) have been sent packing by Paraguay.

Anyway, it's these types of Eric the Eel style stories from global competition that keep us coming back. Go the Socceroos!

More to come.