LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As if 2020 could not get any weirder, local landscaper Timothy Foster (30) has just now begun a paleo diet.
Also known as the caveman diet, the paleo diet focuses on eating foods consumed by our Neolithic forebears such as meat and $14 protein bars.
Alleged benefits of the diet include improved health, increased libido, and a sense of superiority that extends far beyond the understanding of a common refined sugar addict.
Although the diet was the hottest fad of the Abbott era, Foster has only just dipped his unsocked toe into the paleo world, much to the mistrust of his friends who are correctly wondering how far off he is from sharing Nazi shit on social media.
“I mean, we wondered if this fucking weird diet was a gateway into some suss shit but now we know for sure it is” stated friend of Foster, Demelza Perera.
“Guess all that caveman living really brought back some crook tribalist shit huh?”
According to Perera, she is concerned her friend is moving quickly towards some banned-in-Germany levels of racism as he has already purchased an air purifier and bracelet that is meant to ward off 5G.
“The other day he was eating a t-bone on a plate made of sweet potatoes when he said he was protected from the plandemic by a hunk of metal he rubs on his nuts. I mean, for fuck’s sake.”