Detox Tea In Boyfriend’s Grocery Run Shop Suggests Blow Out Was Bigger Than He Said

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

In breaking news, a local boyfriend has been caught white-lying to his partner this morning about how many drinks he had last night.

The news comes as 34-year-old hairy ballsack on legs, Josh Niccols, dawdles into the kitchen carrying a single bag of groceries.

After rolling through the door last night at a polite 10:05pm, Josh reportedly told his life partner that he’d had “two or three” after-work drinks with his colleagues from the marketing department of the Bank of Queensland.

However, after spotting a packet of bacon, two Gatorades, hot cross buns, some Chicken Crimpy Shapes, 16ft of kransky and a box of Colon Detox Tea schlopping about in his Woolies bag, it’s believed Josh actually must’ve gotten pretty buck-eyed last night.

“Yeah, it was just a quiet one,” said Josh, as he tossed four rashers of bacon into a frying pan, closed his eyes, and stood by the stove inhaling the sizzle like it was a deliciously salty room diffuser.

“We kept a lid on it…”

However, after prodding further, it appears Josh might not have kept a lid on it at all, and in fact kicked the lid clean off the kettle when he just so happened to link up with five mates from his Sunday T20 side, who are all notoriously a terrible influence.

“Was so funny, we were down at the Bull & Barley and I randomly bumped into Tate and Trent in the beer garden, and then Doggers, Phil and Kinky also showed up.

“Doggers kept buying me bourbons, but I told him to stop…” wheezed Josh, as he started to trot towards the bathroom for a spew.

“I think he handed me a dirty glass…”

More spews to come.