Derro Who Got Honeydicked Into Buying Shitbox Apartment On 5% Deposit Scheme Needs To Get Over The Fact He's Now Financially-Ruined For Life

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The world is fucked and everyone in it can get fucked this week after a local derro was forced to confront the uncomfortable reality that he's ruined his life by doing exactly what it demanded of him.

Earlier this year, Betoota Heights personal trainer Darcy Wright purchased a second-hand apartment. It was build in 2005. He paid a premium for it due to the government's brand spanking 5% deposit scheme, which was put in place by Jim and Albo to him derros like him get a shitbox apartment and a bit of agency.

He paid $625,000 on the nose for the one-bedder. Quite a lot in today's money, he conceded to our reporter this morning. But he wasn't worried, he was in it for the long term. He wasn't worried about potentially doubling his money every ten years, he just wanted a place to live. And slowly increase in value.

Darcy alleges the government "honeydicked" him into buying an undesirable apartment in an undesirable area for an inflated price, before pulling the rug out from under him by removing any future owner's ability to negatively gear, in his own words, "the cock off it," making it "extremely undesirable" to anyone except the bottom of society that can't afford anything better.

"It's fucked, I'm less than a year in and I'm 60 grand in the hole," he said.

"And it's only gonna get worse. They're upping supply and slowing down the human conveyor belt of Indians, Chinese and Brits into the country. I'm actually ruined, I can't believe the government did this to me. My apartment will never be worth $650,000 again, and if it ever is, it'd be because 35,000,000 people are living on this fucking island and nowhere for them to live,"

"The only other indignity that Albo and Jim can make me suffer is conscripting me for some future war, then me getting bayonetted by a Chinese teenager in a Brunei oilfield, while I slowly bleed to death in the mud while I dream of that girl who held my hand when I was greening out in the pit watching Neil Young at Big Day Out 2009. She whispered in my ear, 'You're Ok, I'm here. You're OK.' Then it goes black. And then I'm finally released from my mortgage tree bower, my prison."

More to come.