Country Mum Foists 95% of Backyard Citrus Grove Onto Departing Guests

BEVERLEY MOODY | Local News | Contact

After a lovely Sunday lunch, Lyn Burns’ children had just loaded the car and put it in reverse when the Betoota Plains matriarch came charging down the driveway clutching an antique plastic bag.

“I forgot to give you oranges!”

Inside were oranges, mandarins, limes, lemons and one sad looking grapefruit nobody had asked for.

Her children say this annual citrus redistribution program begins innocently enough, before rapidly escalating.

“It always starts with her offering us a few lemons,” said son Simon. “But if you show any interest, she tries to palm off everything attached to the tree.”

Despite repeated assurances that a household of three could not physically consume 47 kilograms of citrus before it decomposed, Lyn reportedly produced a series of increasingly ambitious yet unrealistic solutions.

“You can make marmalade or lemon butter. Why don’t you make a tart? Dry the peel… Nan used to candy it.”

Experts say country mums operate under the unwavering belief that every visitor has unlimited pantry space, industrial preserving equipment and several free afternoons to sterilise jars.

“She spends eleven months watering, fertilising and protecting the trees from possums,” said daughter Ella. “Then one month trying to convince anyone with a driver’s licence to remove the evidence.”

Neighbours have reportedly witnessed Lyn chasing her daughter’s reversing car down the driveway, waving a reusable shopping bag full of limes yelling: “If you don’t take them, they’ll only go to waste!”

Visitors driving to the area are advised to remain vigilant until citrus season has passed.