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Collingwood Fans To Further Bankrupt Victoria After Premier Promises To Add Dental To State Health Service
1 min read
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The malaise currently afflicting the state of Victoria may continue for some time yet, after a shocking announcement from the new Premier.
With the Victorian Labor party on the ropes ahead of the upcoming election, the party has promised to bring in a historic policy.
Premier Ben Carroll has announced that if his party wins the upcoming election, they will introduce free dental care to the state health service.
The copying of the Greens homework has drawn the ire of a number of Naarmgroids, and 'fiscally conservative' common sense warriors alike.
However, while the policy sounds like a nice common sense initiative to bring greater shared equity to public health - a shocking revelation has come out.
Carlton Hawthorn, a Public Health Expert at Melbourne University has revealed that the new policy might bankrupt the state entirely.
"We might have to enter voluntary administration if this thing comes in," sighed Hawthorn.
"Because the one thing that the government seems to be forgetting, is that this new initiative will be open to Collingwood fans."
"And that, will further bankrupt this state."
"Coupled with the Bikies and Big Build, free dental for the Collingwood Football community will be the straw the breaks the state coffers back."
The Premier has yet to respond to our request for comment, but a number of chronically online Melbourne people have already issued 2000 word essays on how problematic these comments are.
More to come.