Chronically Single Mate Convinced Air Hostess Was Definitely Hitting On Him

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A mate who follows way too many gym models on Instagram is being torn to shreds this afternoon, as he makes some bold claims at the pub.

Meeting up with four mates from his footy club for some afternoon schooners, forever bachelor Brad Tate (33) has opened up proceedings with a story about a recent business trip to the Gold Coast.

As a regional sales manager for the Diamantinia’s network of three Harvey Norman stores, Brad gets the very occasional chance to travel for work, and attend the Australian National Whitegoods Conference in Broadbeach.

And having just returned from a high-flying work trip, Brad’s told all his mates that the Virgin flight attendants were all over him.

“Boys it all started when I boarded the plane, the girl at the door gave me the biggest smile aye!” started Brad, who seemed to not understand how very normal customer service usually works.

Interjecting to kill his mate's very obvious flight attendant fantasy, mate Andrew jumped in to correct his friend who’s notoriously terrible at speaking to women.

“Bro, they all do that. That’s their job. Of course she’s gonna smile at you, she wants you to hurry the hell up and find your seat so the plane can get going, you idiot.”

Determined to play out the whole story, like he was the first man on the planet to hold eye contact with a flight attendant, Brad doubled down with his opinion that the Virgin staff were all falling over themselves for a washing machine salesman.   

“Nah, but like then when she came past with the drinks cart, she offered me tea and coffee, and was like, ‘Do you want milk?’”

“‘Do you want milk,’ boys! You had to be there… It was the way she said it.”

“You’re such a numpty,” replied another mate, Will, completely bored by his mate’s story.

“Also, stop liking my sister’s photos on Instagram, even Mum knows you’ve been doing that.”

More delusion to come.