World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A bloke who has experienced nothing but shit talk and a dead mother at the hands of the salivating media and political castes who have decided his family are more equal than the rest of the world, is surprisingly not into this particular form of imperialism. The entire commonwealth are still rattled by the news that Prince Harry and his wife...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the world and nation come to terms with the rapid spread of the devastating Coronavirus, the Government is today under fire for a glaring error. Desperately needing to get Australians out of the epicentre for the deadly virus in Wuhan, the Australian government has made the foolish mistake of showing the actual citizens of the country how...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact T.A.t.U were the Russian pop duo who rocked our worlds during the 00s, and as Brisbane woman Tyler Moore is today realising, the Veronicas are basically the Aussie version of them. During the 2000s t.A.t.U was certified gold in the United States with the international hits "All the Things She Said" and "Not Gonna Get Us". They rose to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young Australian woman named Bianca Sams has today told DFAT that she's all good, thanks. The rejection came after someone from the department offered her a one-way ticket from the Hubei province in China to the quaint little Island of Christmas off the coast of Indonesia. The Political Science student from Betoota University who was doing an...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact If climate change deniers needed another sign that climate change is real and we are all going to die when Earth becomes a fiery hell, today’s announcement from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) might be the one to change their minds. NASA today announced that instead of conducting a heat stress test in a specialised chamber, would-be...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Author of the best selling Harry Potter series and the gift that keeps on shitting, JK Rowling has made a shocking announcement that has sparked a heated debate amongst the Australian Harry Potter fandom. While shocking many, diehard Harry Potter fans claim they are not surprised, citing Rowling's transphobic tweet in late 2019 as evidence that she holds 'traditional',...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Young media professional Rhyce Lukas has been on holidays in a remote tropical location for the past 2 weeks and according to his out of office reply, he won’t be able to reply to any emails because there’s no reception, so if it’s not urgent it’ll have to wait until January 20 when he’s back in the office. To...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT When it comes to representation on screen, one local Lena Dunham-enthusiast by the name of Brontè Brunswick (24) is sick of the excuses. The film and TV industry, particularly in Hollywood, is far too pale, male and stale. In fact, if it wasn't for the archaic 'Best Actress' category at the Academy Awards, Brontè is fairly certain there wouldn't even...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One significant roadblock to independence for Harry and Meghan has been removed today it can be confirmed. The Betoota Advocate can exclusively reveal, that $1.9 million issue of the Sussex's security detail has been solved by the purchase of a Pitbull named Tyson. The issue of protecting Harry, Meghan and Archie had been a sticking point for the breakup, with...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the Royal family deals with the damning allegations made by Harry and Meghan, Harry has since thickened the plot with a vague, passive-aggressive Facebook status. After the fallout from he and Meghan's interview with Oprah, the young father took to his shared Facebook account to vent. Aimed a someone who probably 'knows who they are,' the popular,...