The River City of Brisbane has walked a mile in the shoes of its southern neighbour today after a crisis gripped their CBD.

This comes after a safety issue on the metro tunnel construction resulted in an emergency shutdown, with main streets in the city cut off for the majority of the day.

“A decision was made out of an abundance of caution to close Adelaide Street between North Quay and George Street,” a spokesperson for Brisbane City Council said today.

That has sent the city into a meltdown, with the few people who actually catch buses disembarking and walking into the city.

“We have entered a code Sydney,” explained the Brisbane Council spokesperson.

“We are experiencing what it’s like to live in the shittest city in the Southern Hemisphere.”

“I really don’t know how they do this every single day,” he said about Sydney, a city whose arterial roads and public transport can seemingly be brought to its knees by a water bottle full of piss.

“All these inconvenienced commuters look like they want to throw a rock through an office window, and this is a rare occurrence.”

“I can’t imagine what would happen if they had to put up with this every single day like our southern relatives.”

Traffic is reportedly set to ease tonight, with the emergency shutdown being lifted before the evening commute.

More to come.


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