Malcolm Turnbull has beaten Peter Dutton 48-35 in a snap Liberal leadership spill. The Prime Minister forced his rival to show his hand by declaring all leadership positions vacant as soon as the party room meeting started this morning.

Mr Turnbull won the vote and his deputy Julie Bishop was the only candidate for her role. But the result is so narrow it is set to create ongoing problems for the Government, and the fact that nearly half the party want the Minister For Home Affairs is a fair indicator of a definite loss at next Federal election.

Mr Dutton has since volunteered his resignation from the cabinet, and will remain in the back bench for the next couple months where he will throw peanuts at the Prime Minister until it is time for another spill, which he will most likely win.

Some Liberals also expect other frontbenchers to quit the Ministry, which would cause a major reshuffle.

In the meanwhile, Opposition leader Bill Shorten can’t believe the sure bet he’s been handed, and has decided to just shut the fuck up and smile until he is handed the role of Prime Minister at the next federal election.

“Sounds like a good idea to me” Shorten said to reporters today.

“I’m not going to say or do anything until after the election”

“I’ve been studying videos of Stephen Bradbury’s 2002 Gold Medal win at the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics all morning.”

“This election will be quite possibly the only other example of someone actually winning because of a tortoise and the hare type competitive edge”


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