Report: You Can Get Into The Surf Club Wearing Aquatic Toe Shoes But Not These Tasteful Chanel Sandals
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A woman walked into the Lake Betoota Surf Life Saving Club last Friday evening wearing what
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local woman has today learnt that her most recent health hack was actually too good to be true.
Local business analyst, Samantha (28) from Betoota's French Quarter, has the burdensome task of going out with a bloke that finds health and fitness interesting enough to be his hobby.
Samantha has nicknamed her boyfriend 'The Protein Police' because of his frustrating ability to identify the nutritious value of everything she puts in her mouth.
However, The Protein Police (real name Pat) says he only points these things out when he gets asked by Samantha personally - because he's not in the business of ruining a good time.
And Pat insists that Samantha only has herself to blame for his most recent act of dietary treachery.
"He always tells me to make sure I'm hydrated" she tells The Betoota Advocate.
"And when I finally get on top of that, he tells me what I'm doing is worse"
As Samantha has learnt today, it seems the novelty 'coconut water' that she has been guzzling by the litre - is actually not some guilt-free yummy elixir.
What Samantha had just assumed was a concoction of natural flavours and the magical inner-dew from tropical coconuts, is maybe not that good for her.
"She asked" says Pat.
"She asked specifically 'do you think this chocolate coconut water is as healthy as the plain one'"
Pat says it's likely just as bad as pumping full-strength coca-cola by the litre.
"I told her I don't even think the plain one is healthy... But she should maybe read the back of it"
As expected, it seems the chocolate coconut water, that tastes exactly like a chocolate milkshake, was full to the brim of things that even Samantha knows she shouldn't be putting into her body eight litres at a time on a daily basis.
Samantha refuses to blame herself, or the coconut water, for this trickery - as if, it wouldn't be real if Pat hadn't made it so.
"This is the most annoying thing he has said since he told me those healthy lollies still had heaps of sugar in them"