Blue Haired Niece Leaves Family Dinner Confused By Claiming That Anti-Logging Bill Is Actually A Bad Thing

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

A young woman has today revealed to her family just how badly she is being affected by algorithmic brain rot. 

Chloe West-Whitely (27) did so at her dad’s 60th birthday dinner last night, with all of her immediate family and a few members of the extended Hogan clan.

The young woman with a long reputation of vivacity, and well recognised as the spark plug of the West-Whitely family group - kicked into gear last night as the conversation vaguely skirted around the topic of the news cycle.

With a quick agreement from all apart from Uncle Rick not to go near Pauline Hanson, Chloe decided the room needed to hear about ‘one of the most fucked issues right now.’ 

“I’m sure most of you haven’t so this is a dumb question,” began Chloe, whose brain has been trained to believe everything must be an argument or involved some form of conflict so often begins conversations by belittling people.

“But have you seen what the government is doing to our native forests?” 

With her dad Sean confirming he had seen something about it (given he’s a mountain biker and outdoorsman himself), he thought ‘they were going to ensure the Great Koala National Park got made and native forests were protected?’.

“Well yeah, but…” said Chloe, pausing.

“They shouldn’t be commercialising our forests because it will just compensate for big polluters,” said Chloe, as if the people in her online echo chamber are correct that big polluters will just stop polluting at an undisclosed time in the near future because science says it’s bad.

 As the room raised eyebrows and thought about throwing questions or retorts at the always self-assured Chloe, Dad chimed in again. 

“Yeah, but if it's gonna protect our native forests, I feel like it’s a bit of a no brainer.”

“Tbh, all the forests will probably end up burning down from climate change, so what’s the point anyway,” she replied.

“You lot need to remember sometimes that perfect doesn’t always have to get in the way of -” he continued, before Chloe cut him off and told him he just doesn’t get it. 

Mum, alert to the double threats of experienced last word practitioner Uncle Rick and ruining a lovely evening, valiantly tried to move the conversation onto dessert options.

“Might be the first time you’ve agreed with Barnaby on anything eh Chlo? Reckon he’s stoked some of the greenies think saving the trees is a shithouse idea.”