Bloke Carrying 24 Toilet Paper Rolls Under His Arm Clearly Needs To Do A Gigantic Poo ASAP

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A man that is brazenly walking through his own suburb with a new supply of goona wrap is obviously pinching one in at this very moment.

Betoota-based day trader, Kelvin Tolliday (32) has made the mistake of walking - as opposed to what he usually does, which is hide his shame in a crowded shopping trolley which then gets discreetly loaded into the boot of a car.

But considering that he's working from home today, and needed a coffee, he figured he'd make the trek up to his closest supermarket on foot.

24 rolls of toilet paper aren't the only thing he purchased. He also picked up a cold drink, a stash of dishwasher tablets, and some garlic for tonight's dinner.

But only one of these items are visible on his person. The bog roll.

This means, to everyone who sees him in the street, that Kelvin clearly needs to take a boris - immediately.

The fact that he's bought so much paper also implies it won't be a small one. In fact, it's assumed that the imminent dookie is of the gigantic, steaming, kind.

It also means everyone is overthinking his pace. Is he walking briskly? or at a normal speed. It doesn't really matter - because with that many toilet paper rolls under his arm, it's clear he's about to lay some cable any minute now.

And it's gonna be a big job.