Awww Man: Kid Who Pulled A Sickie Yesterday Missed Out On A Lockdown Drill AND A Wet Weather Lunch

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

A local Year 3 student and professional con artist has chosen the wrong day to hone his craft. 

Until he arrived at school this morning, Bear Harries-River (8) had been feeling rather pleased with his decision to pull a fake sickie yesterday.

“Mum wasn’t even cut at me, she loves working from home. It’s like a free day off, she says. So she didn’t even take my Switch off me. She just said she was working in the loungeroom, but I definitely heard the Netflix sound a few times. Anyway I just hung out in my room. And she brought me juice. So much juice.”

“But now I’m starting to think I should’ve saved it for today. Because I got to school and everyone was talking about how there was a lockdown drill yesterday. Apparently they didn’t do any work and just got to hide under the tables and then Harry said something really funny but no one will even tell me what it was.”

“And then after that they had TWO wet weather lunches. And apparently Miss Finnemore put this weird show on the TV where this kid found a little green baby in a cabbage patch and then he became its mum because it only liked him. And apparently she put it on by putting this big plastic brick thing into the TV.”

“I just always miss out on the exciting stuff. Nothing fun ever happens when I’m here. They played heads down thumbs up yesterday and now today we’re doing our times tables.”

“I even asked if anyone wanted to race at lunchtime to remind everyone I’m the fastest boy in school and that I still exist but everyone just wants to stay inside and watch more of the weird show. And I still don’t know the funny thing Harry said.”

“So that is why I’ve decided I’m running away.”

More to come.