Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
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Government Now Wondering If All These Education Cuts Were A Good Thing
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact For some the simple mask rule is proving a difficult one to follow, as the nation’
Every Single Car In Stock Was Previously Owned By Little Old Ladies, Confirms Used Car Dealer
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact In a bold move, a local used car dealer has claimed every single car on
Uber Launches New Shopping Trolley Delivery Service For Drunk Shenanigans
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Ride-share and food delivery company Uber is stepping further into the post-inebriation market
New Dad Learns Cool Trick To Make Weekend Last Twice As Long With Dora The Explorer Marathon
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact A young father has stumbled across an ingenious method which can be used to double
Huntsman Hiding Under Visor Patiently Waits Until After Motorist Gets On The Motorway To Show Itself
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Harry the huntsman has grown tired of his new home. It’s not like he has
Reverse Psychology: Andrews Tells City To Go Out And Have Fun In Hope They Keep Disobeying Him
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a sensational story from down south, the Premier of Victoria has today tried an incredible
Selfish Astrologist Refuses To Give Pandemic An End Date
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Since being declared a pandemic on March 11 2020, the fight against COVID-19 has been
Canberra On The Brink Of Economic Collapse After Virus Prevents Year 6 Excursions
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some sad news for the nation’s capital, Canberra’s economy is currently on the
Over 500,000 Melbourne Dads Crack The Same Joke About Always Needing A Permit To Leave Home
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT While plenty in Melbourne are sighing at another new rule governing their lives, a few hundred
Regional Pub Allows COVID Marshall To Use Cattle Prod On Pissed Idiots Who Can’t Stay Seated
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local hospitality employee has today decided that it might be time to get serious. The
Sliver Of Nail Polish On Big Toe Lasts Longer Than The $300 Heels It Was Supposed To Match
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT You’d think forking out $300 for a pair of heels would mean they lasted for
Local Gym Bro Finally Has An Actual Reason To Wear His Stupid Elevation Mask
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from Legends Gym in Betoota Heights, local Gym Bro Brad Parker finally