Government Under Fire For Offering Bonus Bets During Census
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Government has tonight been forced to defend a controversial feature of the national census.
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Guided Meditation Reminds Local Woman How Many Personalities Are Knocking About Up There
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Betoota woman April Bing decided to try her hand at guided meditation this week. According to
Local Bricklayer Outs Himself As A Brave Feminist Ally By Cat-Calling Men As Well
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The old guard may be fading away in worksites across Australia as local bricklayer Darren Roon
Girlfriend Taking Weird Amount Of Pleasure In Dragging Hungover Boyfriend Through SuperCentre
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Sydney man is in hell right now, it can be confirmed. With his first Saturday
Hippy Twiggy Forrest Rolls Into Latest Greenie Press Conference With Vibrant Bongo Drum Solo
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation’s newest greenie has wowed reporters at a spectacular press conference this morning. Speaking
Unemployed Mate Can’t Believe You Aren’t Keen To Back Up Tonight
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recently-but-not-so-recently unemployed man is making drastic moves to avoid watching Ellen
QLD’s Tourism Operators Say Telling Southerners To Get Fucked Isn’t That Fun Anymore
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After 18 long months, our state’s tourism industry has confirmed today that they have kinda
“The Ford Raptors Will Keep Rolling In” Says NSW Government Pitching Hydrogen To Hunter Region
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The New South Wales Premier has kept the wins rolling in this week, announcing a shiny
Bloke On Health Kick Sifts Through Pile Of Salad After Eating All The Good Bits Too Quickly
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT As he sadly sifts a fork through his salad, local bloke Julian Carter begins to question
“Forget Everything We Have Ever Said About These Fucken Tree Hugging Hippies” Says News Corp
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation’s largest distributor of news has shocked many this week by pulling a complete
Small Town ‘Buy, Swap And Sell’ Page Exclusively Used To Sling Insults And Organise Fights
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Emmet Buy/Swap/Sell Facebook page started out with pure intentions according to
Modern Day Nelson Mandela Fights Segregation By Abusing Cafe Worker For Following Health Guidelines
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local human rights activist has caused a bit of a scene down in the French
Extremely Busy And Important Husband Cherry Picks Clean Undies From Dryer Rather Than Unload It
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Hovering next to the dryer, local bloke Sean Cooper has a split second to make a