Report: You Can Get Into The Surf Club Wearing Aquatic Toe Shoes But Not These Tasteful Chanel Sandals
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A woman walked into the Lake Betoota Surf Life Saving Club last Friday evening wearing what
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Housemates Of Taylor Swift Fan Forced To Turn Off Mains Power After A Week Of Waterboarding
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A share-house in South Betoota has today been forced to take drastic action. After 7 days
Turbulent Situationship Reaches Breaking Point As Local Girl Drops The C-Word
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A fleeting situationship appears to have entered its third and final round this evening,
High School Teacher Goes Into Damage Control After Group Of Year 9s Find Her Burner Account
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A teacher at Betoota Heights secondary college is today dealing with a rapidly escalating situation. The
Bloke At Dad’s Work Reckons His Mate Actually Had The Trifecta Yesterday
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local father of three has taken time out of his busy day to call all
Pubs To Roll Out Facial Recognition So They Can Identify Which Gamblers To Bring Spring Rolls
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Betoota’s very own Betoota Heights Hotel has today made headlines for signing up to a
Breaking: Reports Emerge That A Single Lion, Zebra, Giraffe And Hippo Are Still On The Run
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Zookeepers at Sydney’s Taronga Zoo are currently in crisis mode, with the escaped lion saga
Mosman Cops Reveal They Had The Biggest Boners Over Possibility Of Shooting A Couple Lions 
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Cops in the sleepy Lower North Shore of Sydney have today revealed that they woke up
“Aw You’re Calling Your Nan?” Swoon Work Colleagues Unaware Bloke Is Just Sourcing Some Tips
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local bloke has won some cute points this morning, after publicly declaring he’
Naarm Settler Fires Up LinkedIn To Let Network Know She’ll Be Busy Working At 3pm Today
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Smoke is billowing from a Brunswick loft this morning, as a politically charged yuppie
“There Is No Substitute For Hard Work” Explains Local Real Estate Agent Driving A BMW
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A man wise beyond his years has today offered up some advice to those out there
#NupToTheCup Activist Not Sure If He’s Got It In Him For A Third Year Of This Shit
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A Melbourne local has today revealed to The Advocate that he may do away with one
Emotional Investor’s Recession Survival Strategy Is To Just Throw Laptop Out The Window
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact A Laptop has been seen careening through the air in Betoota’s Old City District this