PM: "I Attend Lots Of Dinners With The Weird Sons Of Colourful Billionaires, You'll Have To Be More Specific"
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister is defending dinner guests this week after certain sections of the
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Woman Reading Spicy Novel Too Horrified By Description Of Love Interest’s Anatomy To Find It Arousing
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman reading one of her naughty novels has yet again herself more repulsed than aroused,
Local Man Craves A Shower Head As Powerful As The Ones Outside The Lifesaving Club
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT A local surfie has today departed the beach feeling a mixture of envy and resentment after
Local GP Sighs After Spotting Elephant Pants In The Waiting Room
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A local GP has let out a deep sigh after spotting a pair of elephant pants
Hand Soap With This Coloured Bottle Can Charge Whatever The Fuck They Want
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The Australian Competition and Consumer (ACCC) has uncovered some explosive news today. It turns out that
Households Who Have Their Toilet Paper Delivered Far More Likely To Volunteer For The Greens
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT The ABS has today confirmed a direct correlation between households that have their toilet paper delivered
ABC Set To Bring Back Tom Gleeson’s ‘Hard Chat’ In A Bid To Actually Apply Some Political Scrutiny
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT Political corruption is thriving across the nation as anti corruption ‘watchdogs’ such as IBAC function more
99% Of JB HiFi Staff Turn Up To Work In Their Best Parkway Drive Kit For Aussie Music Shirt Day
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact It can now be confirmed that a staggering 99% of JB Hi-Fi workers are rocking
Radicalisation Complete: City Woman Calls Cousin A “Woke Leftie” After Weekend At Folks Place Watching Sky News
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact Sophie Heffernan (34) has returned from what was meant to be a relaxing stay with her
Woman’s Phone Refuses To Tap On Bus After Sensing There's A Long Line Of People Waiting Behind Her
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman is beginning to suspect her phone is out to get her, as she
Woman With Tight-Arse Parents Both Grateful And Resentful Of Their Sudden Generosity Toward The Grandkids
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman who grew up with extremely tight arse parents is unsure if she should be
Boomer Outraged By Barista’s Milk Question For Some Reason
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT A collectively loathed local Baby Boomer is absolutely beside himself once again after a barista asked
Genius Bar Person Tries To Hide Their Disgust At State Of Customer’s AirPods
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact Seeing bodily fluids comes with the territory if you’re a medical doctor, but as a