Australian Man Begins Week With Renewed Hatred For Paparazzi Tabloid Scum After Watching Kylie Doco

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Betoota-based property valuer, Graham Crumsley (43) has had his long-held hatred of the tabloid media rejuvenated over the weekend.

He's now beginning the week with not many nice things to say about those scumbag paparazzi lowlifes who peck at the vulnerable carcasses of innocent public figures for a living.

This comes of course after accidentally watching all three episodes of the new Kylie Minogue documentary with his missus on Sunday.

Graham says until the day he dies, he will make sure to be a staunch and vocal defender of Australia's greatest cultural export - now that he knows just how badly she was treated by these bloodsucking media halfwits for no good reason at all.

This radicalisation of a dormant Kylie Minogue fans is not isolated to just Graham either. It's happening to hundreds of thousands of people around Australia.

Even though Graham is self-admittedly not that much of a pop music guy, and is what most people would describe as 'incredibly heterosexual' - the fact remains that he is also an Australian. And grew up with this sisters.

That means he has grown up with a level of empathy for the defenceless global superstars, and refuses to join in on the tall poppy pile-ons.

"I already hated those paparazzi motherfuckers after I saw what they did to Princess Diana."

"Then of course there was our beloved Amy Winehouse"

"And now I know just how badly our Kylie copped it. Even when she was sick. I tell you what, if I knew this was going, I would've been outside her parents house with a two-by-four knee-capping those fucking lowlife cameramen"

This documentary only proves that Kylie Minogue has never forgotten where she came from, even if she was ridiculed for being an outsider on the world stage.

Her inability to avoid teaming up with other Australians, such as Michael Hutchence and Nick Cave, has only reaffirmed Graham's belief that she is the real deal.

"I actually thought the 'singing budgie' was classic nickname" said Graham.

"But then I realised it wasn't a term of endearment. Fuck every one of those cunts"

"The numbers don't lie. They couldn't crush her. Long live Kylie Minogue. The greatest Australian performer to ever live"