America Begins To Try Fix Its Global Reputation Like A Hungover Man That Went Too Far Last Night

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America has collectively woken up to one of the worst hangovers in all of recorded human history.

"Wait... what did we do last decade?" said a spokesperson for the USA, before sprinting to the toilet to vomit.

"Does everyone hate me now?? Be honest, id way rather you be completely honest me right now" they followed up with while violently tearing through their bathroom cabinet in desperate search for a painkiller.

The world super power is now coming to terms with the fact they burnt bridges with basically alll of their good friends, hooked up with its mortal enemies and did a whole lot of dumb shit throughout while completely high on a decades worth of Trumpism.

Following yesterday's midterm results, the United States has begun the uncomfortable process of piecing together its behaviour and contacting countries it hasn't spoken to properly in years.

"Did I actually say that stuff about Canada? Jesus Christ. They've always been so nice to me."

European leaders have reportedly received several lengthy apology messages, with America insisting that the person they saw over the last decade wasn't really them.

"I was just going through some stuff. You know how it gets."

Russia has also been advised that America would prefer everyone simply forget about what happened between them.