Albo's Local Golf Course Now Able To Get Hard Solo On Tap After $6M Grant

SANDY FRASER | Youth | CONTACT

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has found himself in a little bit of trouble after an examination of Labor's 'invite-only' grants scheme found he was particularly generous towards the party’s safe and marginal seats. 

The scheme, which promised to deliver about half a billion dollars to upgrade community infrastructure across Australia, was allegedly used as an election strategy to secure the seats Labor wanted to win, according to some. 

About 45 electorates received no funding at all, while Albo’s very own local of Marrickville Golf Club received a generous $6 million grant - a bad look considering the program was ‘invite-only’.

However, the PM is defending the ‘special treatment’, saying the money was to put towards very necessary upgrades. 

“They needed Hard Solo - or sorry I think it's called Hard Rated now actually - anyway, they really needed it on tap. I just love the stuff, it’s delicious, have you had it? You can hardly taste the alcohol in it. Anyway, I was getting so sick of popping down to my local and not even being able to enjoy a schooner, you know, I may as well stay in and buy a 10 pack to watch the game at home, but then you seem like a Nigel No Friends,” he said. 

“So I mentioned it to a manager and they said, well, it’s actually really expensive to get in on tap, you know. That just broke my heart. So yes, I pulled some strings to give them a hand being able to afford getting it in on tap.”

“I do think anyone in my position would've done the same, and if any other clubs wanted it on tap, then they should’ve just applied.”

Though our reporter attempted to remind the PM his scheme was invite-only, he maintained that was ‘irrelevant’.

More to come.