Albo Warns We’ll Fall Behind In AI Like We Have Living Standards Unless He Kowtows To Tech Creeps

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister has fired a shot over the bow of local copyright holders this week by telling them it's their national service to give it up and let foreign tech freaks feed it to their anti-human machines.

"We will fall behind in the AI race," Anthony Albanese told this masthead during one of our bi-weekly strategy meetings.

"Just like we have with living standards. Falling behind in both would be a sort of double-whammy that is the type of undignified slap in the face that the typical Australian has avoided in recent times."

"And in order for us to get ahead, I need to essentially give these tech freaks what they want. Which is space to put data centres, cheap and/or free energy and pretty much all of the art and literature they can stomach, which is everything."

It's important to point out that the current government isn't solely responsible for the current predicament we find ourselves in. The price for saving lives during the pandemic is what we are suffering for now. Plus, the decisions made by the David Jones food court fancy version of Pauline Hanson in the White House have not helped, either.

But it's not all bad. Albo has given copyright holders an escape hatch. They can opt out of their work being mashed into an AI algorithm like a complimentary party pie being palmed up the cash slot of a pokie machine that's taken all your money and didn't even cough up a single feature.

"You don't have to let your novel or whatever be used to train a robot how to write one," Albo continued.

"And I can't see how it's any different to a young Hunter S. Thompson hand-typing out The Great Gatsby and A Farewell to Arms on his typewriter, just to know what it feels like to write one of the great novels. You could argue that he was a bit of a machine, and he was machine learning when he did that."

"Have you ever wondered what Nick Cave's Into My Arms would sound like as a reggae track? Well, if my mate Cavey doesn't opt out, you'll be able to plug it into AI and wonder no more!"

More to come.