ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
More pain is on the way for people with mortgages this week after the shadowy organisation that moonlights as the central banking authority in this country looks to up the cost of the Australian Dream.
The figure that experts are suggesting will be in the ballpark of 16% with the possibility that they might even be over 20% by Christmas.
For Australians with a modest $750 000 mortgage over 30 years, repayments are expected to rise to over $10 000 a month.
It’s a figure that the central bank says is necessary to put the economy on ice but their hands are largely tied due to the fact the new Labor Government has all but destroyed the economy Mugabe-style.
“This is unfortunately just the beginning,” said the RBA in a statement.
“The Albanese Government can’t hide any longer and the chickens from the past few years are finally coming home to roost and roost they will. This figure of 16 percent will put every mortgage holder under significant threat and put many hardworking Australians out on the street,”
“We’re hoping to avoid any increases after tomorrow.”
A number of local homeowners have expressed their shock at the announcement with some saying they’re going to have to dig up the poly pipe in the backyard and get their guns out.
People like Grant Brett, who recently purchased a 95sqm off the plan apartment in the French Quarter for just over $700 000 and fears the interest rate increases will mean he’ll never get his money back.
So like many other working families, he’s taking a Venezuelan Credit Card to Woolies with him after work.
“What’s a Venezuelan Credit Card you might ask? Well for me, mine is a Mark III Sten gun. It’s been under my grandfather’s house since the 1970s. I’ve spent the afternoon greasing it up and testing firing it against the wall in the apartment carpark,” he said.
“It can spray 500 rounds a minute of 9mm in any general direction. I’m taking my reusable bags and taping a few phonebooks to my front and back just in case there’s another bloke with a Venezuelan Credit Card who wants the last T-bone,”
“But yeah, it works by getting all of your foodstuffs, going to the counter and pointing the card at anyone who wants you to pay and then you keep on going home. If someone else wants something more than you, you just give them the full noise with the card and hope for the best,”
“Mate, I just wanted a place to call my own.”
More to come.