Celebrating with a letter from the Queen and a kilo of prawns, Australia’s oldest man Wilberforth Stoker (110) has confirmed that he doesn’t listen to triple J anymore either.

Proving that we are truly a country with an ageing population, triple J listener numbers are decreasing by as much as 20% in Melbourne who presumably must still be upset about the whole Wiggles thing.

According to the decorated war hero and highly commended recipient in the men’s chocolate cake division Betoota Fair 1964, Stoker claims that triple J lost him long ago.

“I was listening to triple J back when it was just J,” stated Stoker, who claims through happenstance to have been a member of The Animals, The Angels, Dragon, and Angus and Julia Stone at various points.

“We had one J back then and we were happy to have it!” 

“You used to have to tune in by putting a metal rod in either ear and stand with each finger pointing towards adjacent powerlines.

If you were one of the well-to-do lot, sometimes you had a radio, but they were rare.”

“It’s just not the same these days. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’ve got a little older but I just can’t relate to it anymore.”

“All these callers competing for prizes when you used to get a prize just for listening. A pack of licorice sticks just for tuning in.”


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