Adelaide Strikers Put Tentative 9am Curfew In Place As They Sign Ben Stokes For BBL16

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

English cricket's red rudeboy has signed with the Adelaide Strikers this week, cementing what will be a hell of a summer in the City of Light's nightlife scene.

The team will put in place a generous 9am curfew for the team, as long as they undergo a proper preseason piss fitness test.

The test will include taking a barge from Renmark to Loxton, down the Murray, with a bit of tarp up for shade, chests of Coopers Pale on ice with a light seasoning of Sparkling cans chucked in for good measure, DJ decks set up with the Hilltop Hoods' City of Light pumping at 110dB and captain Alex Carey telling you when to skol your drink.

Stokes is said to be excited to complete the test, where he hopes to show the team that he can indeed handle his piss.

"Can't wait to get down to Adelaide, it's actually the greatest place in Australia to get sideways," he said.

"Take the wife and kids out to a winery on the weekend. Thursday nights, we will go insane at Cry Baby. Make them stay open until 4am. Later. We will go all night. They will say, 'Please Ben, we're closed now,' and I will say, 'Give me five Cougars and nobody gets hurt,' and then the police will come and that'll be OK."

"The team actually has me billeted with Alex Carey, who I still believe to be a bit of a cunt but, in your parlance, I'm willing to move on and perhaps by the time the season kicks off, I'll call him a good cunt. Which I've heard is the Australian equivalent of an MBE. I very much enjoy Coopers Pale. I will be consuming a lot of it."

The Advocate reached out to the Strikers for comment but has yet to receive a reply.

More to come.