Sydney's Assorted Gangs To Stop Killing People After Police, Premier Ask Them To Please Not

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Kofi Annan Of Kogarah has brought an end to Sydney's out-of-control gangland murders this week after calling a press conference in Sydney this morning where he and his police commissioner made some demands.

"Please stop killing people," said NSW Premier Chris Minns.

"Enough people have died, too many people have died. Innocent people have been murdered. It ends now."

Those statements were met with head nods and pensive lip pursing by Commissioner Mal Lanyon, who took to the podium after Minns completed expressing his disappointment.

"My message is to those who are thinking about carrying out a murder in Sydney. Please don't. I know they are part-and-parcel of living in a cosmopolitan metropolis like Sydney. We usually have about 8 or 9. We've had 7 so far this year so expect a couple more before Christmas," said Lanyon.

"However, my advice would be to leave it at 7. Please please please don't do it. They really stress us out. People in Western Sydney shouldn't have to live with this kind of degenerate behaviour, they should be free to, do whatever the hell they do out in Western Sydney. Enjoy ethnic food and traffic jams?"

He turned to Minns, who gave him a thumbs up.

"The food is great out there, people should just take a chill pill and sort out their differences over a biryani or whatever. Koftas. It's all good."

More to come.