5am Kick Off Inspires Local Bachelor To Get Creative With A Bowl Of V-Bix

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A local bachelor is manifesting sporting glory this morning by whipping up a true breakfast of champions.

Wiping green gunk from his eyes at 4:52am this morning, Duncan Metcalfe is getting into the Soccerroo spirit by pouring VB over his usual bowl of Weetbix.

It’s a bold play from the recently single 33 year old, who like millions of other Aussies are choosing to start their Saturday with alcohol and the dream of dishing out a cold slap to those arrogant Americans who continue to belittle our World Cup hopes.

While mixing up the extra yeasty bowl of breakfast sludge, Big Dunc has admitted to our reporter that he missed his first alarm this morning, and as a result didn’t make it to the pub for the first half.

“All the boys are already down at P.J Maloneys, but I missed the alarm I set at 4:30am,” Dunc told The Advocate, while sticking his finger in the bowl to give it a taste test.

“Depends on how we’re going, if we’re in with a sniff at halftime I might jump on a Lime bike and pedal on down there.”

Although to normal people this morning represents a new feat in culinary creativity, unsurprisingly Duncan says this is the weirdest brekkie he’s ever had to start his day.

“What do you reckon, will it be better if I heat it up? Or should I sweeten it with some golden syrup on top?"

“I know it’ll taste better than that time I lost a bet on a footy trip and had to pour black sambucca into an extra spicy laksa, then eat it with a single chopstick.”

“That breakfast really tested my resilience.”

More to come.