40-Year-Old Brisbane Man Instantly Morphs Back Into A 2000s Valley Rat As Work Drinks Blow Out

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

BABY GET SHAKY: As a Regional Project Director at Hutchinson Builders, Alfred 'Alfie' Constance (50) is about as Brisbane as it gets.

Born and raised in the city's inner-north, this father of three hadn't even visited Sydney until the 2015 NRL Grand Final.

He's never been to Melbourne, and in fact, the mere suggestion of visiting any other city except Townsville just makes him laugh.

Brisbane is as good as it gets. He reckons you've got everything you'd want here.As a young father, he's got enough schools and playgrounds and shopping centres and honest work to keep his family afloat.

And as a young man, he had more than enough of a healthy nightlife.But those two eras of his Brisbane life are seperate, and they aren't really meant to intersect. One is a bygone era, and one is the modern era.

He's just a Bunnings and swimming carnival kinda bloke nowadays.The days of the deep-V necklines and and GHD-straightened mohawk are over.

Or so he thought.That was until tonight's work drinks blew out from his usual CBD pub into a Fortitude Valley.

With the wife and little ones visiting the in-laws in Maroochydore, Alfie figured he could handle a bit of a hangover tomorrow.

With his recently-divorced mate and younger protege from work, things started to get out of hand.

All of a sudden, he's wearing bright fluro colours and a wooden rosary crucifix over his exposed chest.His white skinny jeans blend seamlessly into his white square-toed loafers.

Kid Cudi's Crookers Remix pumps in the distance, he's witnessing 6 men engage in an alcohol fuelled bar fight and he's not doing anything to stop it.

He lights a Winfield Sky Blue and begins shuffling. His jaw is swinging.

The Valley Rat is back.