New Study Launched Into Why Local Buses Magically Appear The Moment Someone Lights A Cigarette

New Study Launched Into Why Local Buses Magically Appear The Moment Someone Lights A Cigarette

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Morris Lupus ran for the 9:01 am L45 to Betoota Green Junction this morning, something he feels well above but his current financial situation says otherwise.

As quick and hard as the 48-year-old ran, he missed it.

Sighing to himself, it didn’t take long for him to take a perch outside Mrs Cartwright’s Cake Shop on Willis Avenue and light up a smoke.

Slowly catching his breath between puffs, the local consultant surgeon at Royal Betoota Base Hospital thought he’d enjoy a short little break waiting for the next L45 to turn up.

“I thought I had at least 15 minutes,” said Lupus.

“But as soon as I lit up a smick [sic], another bus turned up. I basically got two draws before I had to throw it in the gutter. Every fucking time, mate,”

“They should launch a study into why this keeps happening. It always happens without a doubt. Murphey’s Law.”

And launch a study they have.

Australia’s peak scientific body, United Diamantina Breweries [UDB], has launched a study into why not only local Betoota Buslines but the whole town’s metro public transport system.

Dennis Collie, from UDB spoke to The Advocate a short time ago about what the study hopes to achieveĀ and why they’ve taken it upon themselves to do it.

“Since the legislation changed last year to allow open containers [of alcohol] on the Betoota Buslines and Betoota CityTrain Metro services, we’ve been campaigning heavily to legalise smoking again on local public services,” said Collie.

“That’s to save the inconvenience of having to effectively waste a cigarette each time a bus arrives ahead of schedule,”

“But we’re launching this study into exactly why public transport always shows up moments after you light a cigaretteĀ because it always happens and it causes a lot of distress to our customers and the wider Diamantina community.”

The study’s findings are due to be published by the end of the year.

More to come.

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